Theology Final

Here's what I wrote for the final paper for my Letters of the New Testament class. Sr. Agnes wanted us to reflect on the question "who do you say that I am?". What aspects of our faith affect our relationships and behaviors? And what aspects of your faith life still challenge you? I think I have everything answered in one vague way or another. It pretty much came out to be a timeline of how my faith has grown. Enjoy!

I’'ve been Catholic my whole life. My parents raised me that way and so it'’s been ingrained in the way I think and how I look at things. But having faith means claiming it for your own, and that’s something I'’ve been trying to do my whole life.
We have been attending our parish since I was six. That same year they started a new elementary religious education program and my mom started writing lessons for it, something she continues to this day. I think a lot of what I know about my faith was learned at that point in my life. This was where I learned the basic points of my faith, where I learned about the significance of the sacraments, why Mary is our mother, why only men are allowed to be priests, that there are more books in our bible than in the protestant one, and the ability to recite them all in order (something I am still able to do).
I was also home schooled my entire life. This I think may be what had the greatest bearing on my faith life and how it has formed. It wasn’t that I was really sheltered from what was going on in the world, it was that my parents were able to put into a Catholic perspective for me. It was nice not to be stuck attending the cesspool of secularism that the public school system has become. I was taught creation instead of evolution, abstinence over contraception, pro-life over pro-choice, sanctity of marriage instead of gay marriage. This education helped to give me the social perspective that I have today.
I started youth group in the seventh grade. I don'’t know that I learned as much from youth group itself as I did from the friends that I had there. The lessons didn'’t go very in-depth, but we liked to pick the topics apart and discuss them in more detail. It was at this point that I started to learn how to defend and explain my faith and it’s doctrines even if, with my lack of non-Catholic friends, there was no one to explain it to.
I was confirmed at the end of ninth grade. My confirmation sponsor gave me a copy of Christian Prayer and showed me how to pray it. That became part of my daily routine saying morning and night prayer. It helped me to grow even if it was only recited prayer.
After I was confirmed at the end of ninth grade I was finally given a good opportunity to share my faith with others. The time I spent in my youth group’s retreat team was really a point of spiritual growth for me. Working with the confirmands gave me a captive audience to share with. They were willing to ask about different aspects of their faith and talk about it one-to-one. Since they were looking for more personal advice I had to be able to relate my faith and beliefs with experiences from my life. It really forced me to make the Catholic faith my own and not just something that I believed because it was what my parents wanted.
I think another part of what has really helped to strengthen my faith is my friends. All but one of my friends back home are Catholic. They have really helped and encouraged me to grow in my faith. They are always praying for me and helping me to make the right choices. They encourage me to get involved in my parish and to live out my faith rather than just believe it. They started out being the primary reason that I went on retreats. Eventually it turned from them being the reason I was there to them just being an added bonus of being on retreat. They also are good reinforcers of our faith in small, occasionally odd ways. For example while we were all gathered at a friend’s house over break we prayed night prayer together. Also once a year some of us renew our Total Consecration to Mary.
So now here I am away from family, away from friends, away from everything that normally reinforces my faith. Between classes, homework, and work study it’s a lot harder to fit in time for having an active faith life. With having an early class and having to stay up later doing homework I lost the gumption to get up early and pray morning prayer before I go to class. I still take time to say a quick prayer and offer up my day but saying a quick prayer in the shower just isn’'t the same as taking the time out to sit down and pray before I do anything else in my day. I also haven’'t had as much time to stay in the habit of saying night prayer. I still fit it in occasionally but often forget it because by the time I hit the end of the day I’'m usually so tired that I drop into bed. I’'d say in part it'’s because there is no one to hold me accountable but myself. Aside from that I really haven'’t found anything here at school that encourages me to expand my faith and stretch myself. So far all I’'ve found is a way to keep myself from allowing my faith to atrophy completely, making it to Mass as often as possible. This isn’'t even possible on a daily basis because three days out of the week it’'s held while I’'m in class and there isn’'t any Mass on Saturdays. Next semester I'’ll be trying out Campus Ministry and helping with off-campus retreats since that’'s what I miss most about not being at home.
So now I suppose where I take my faith is entirely up to me. It'’s not the responsibility of my parents, they'’ve done their part. And it'’s not up to my friends, the most they can do is give me their support long distance. It'’s all mine now, we’'ll see where it leads...